So, I’m sure you would you agree that it is time for some memories of Copenhagen after the debacle that was Malmo.

Well this was never going to be one of those short city breaks infused with liberal doses of culture. Hangover yoghurt was a more likely culture bet than art and literature. This was billed as a bar-hopping celebration of those few brief, blissful days without marking and cantankerous teenagers saying, “No!” We did make every effort to tick off those cultural sights that the city has to offer- well we did it a couple of times. We saw the statue of storks several times, usually while looking for the next whisky bar. (Thinly unveiled Jim Morrison reference)

We had brunch (afternoon tea?) in a bar in Nyhavn harbour area whilst listening to an old, barrel-shaped blues rocker with long, straggly, dark hair.

Speaking of music, I didn’t hear any Danish songs the whole time we were there, neither on the streets nor in the bars and clubs. We heard some really good buskers, one, Teresa Bangsgaard, who sang in Spanish as well as in English. Not a single word of Danish. I find that quite sad really.

So I am sure you are itching to hear if there were any other cultural sights. Well we did frequently walk past the town hall, which is a pretty impressive building. There is a pretty famous mermaid in Copenhagen but I think it had swum out to sea while we were there, or was hiding because it heard we were there.

There is a memorial to the famous writer, Hans Christian Andersen, who wrote something once about a mermaid and also about an ugly duckling that became a Christmas turkey…or was it a swan?

You could visit the Tivoli Gardens Park but we decided against paying the entry fee. There are also some really nice walks by the water too.

So how did we spend from Friday 10 p.m. when we checked in, until 9 a.m. Monday when we checked out and headed for Malmo. Ok, there was the odd bar or two. Like Moose, the really low key, down to earth haunt where we met a large group of Londoners over for the weekend. Moose had been recommended by a drunken Dane we chatted to in the bar next to the hotel. He told us not to go to Malmo under any circumstances. Did we listen to his advice? Did we heck! Should we have listened to him? Hell yes! (see entry entitled Wonderful Copenhagen, Unwonderful Malmo) From Moose- and I can’t remember the exact running order- we went to SJUS, which has an upstairs bar (10 shots for £10 is lethal) and a downstairs boogie area. Another place, Basement Bar, was more spacious and the DJ took requests, allowing some raucous singing of Don’t Look Back in Anger with the locals. There was also Aloha, which was a shady establishment full of undercover pimps. Better was Voodoo, a small bar with an upright coffin and lots of early nods to Halloween, plus some good music. Heard the Ramones, the Stones and the Drones (I made the last one up!)There were other places too. I especially have no idea what the one we went to at 6 a.m. was called. I will eternally remember it as the one where the shots finally took hold and I fell asleep on the table.

If you go up Jorck’s Passage (dodgy I know!) and head down the street to the university there is a more intellectual café/bar with books lining the walls and lots of animated discussion. Down that way is also a buffet restaurant that was always full.

Now some of the above memories are only just part of my collection of recollections so the question is: Do I have any other abiding memories? Yes, of course. I’m not that shallow. Bikes, bikes and more bikes. Thousands of them. At times it is a challenge to not get run over by them and you feel like one of the soldiers in Rourke’s Drift with Zulus coming at you from all angles. I never exaggerate by the way. When the lights change they come rushing through in their hoardes.

 

Incidentally, the lights on some of the traffic lights do count down the number of seconds you have left alive before you are unceremoniously mown over. Copenhagen does feel safe most of the time, aside from the bike threat. I did see two guys eyeballing each other while out walking one morning. One pushed the other to the ground. They then both got up swearing in Danish pastry and headed off in opposite directions. It was slapstick aggression. Great entertainment.

Would I recommend Copenhagen? Of course. It’s got something for everyone: McDonalds, Burger King, KFC and Hard Rock Café. What more could any tourist want? Jokes aside, it is a great place for a break away from home shores, and a cool stopping off point for a trip to……Malmo!!!